Tag: How to

Understanding The Way you communicate in an LDR!

Paul
Women Sitting by Window holding a phone! Photo by bruce mars from Pexels

You Didn’t see this coming?

You probably didn’t see this coming as you started this long distance relationship. We’ve all been there, saying the same exact thing. LDR’s are extremely hard and can be almost heartbreaking. The idea that you want to be with them and do everything with them. You just got back from your trip to see your other Half and now you are down and depressed or maybe even crying your eyes out! This is what every guy or girl has went through after a visit. I’ve heard from people that it doesn’t get easier over time or some have learned to cope with it. Each person is really different when it comes to this process of keeping a relationship working and surviving the long days and nights without your other half.

The Truth behind Visits!

When I come home from every trip to see my other half for some it’s your Girlfriend or Boyfriend, it’s extremely hard to get back into my routines here because ultimately the problem exists where you just want to be with them rather than you wanting to be apart. Sometimes distances doesn’t make the heart grow fonder but makes it extremely hard. So, what I have to do after each visit is drag myself out of bed and get back to my routines but why do people even start doing a Long Distance Relationship? It all stems from several reasons, you can bet no one really expected to be in one. Some do it because they met one way or another while traveling, or playing games with that person and becoming friends through the process. Anyway it happens, I’ve found most people have a unique experience with an LDR.

Dealing with an LDR

There are a number ways of dealing with the distance, whether you keep really busy or finding other ways to cope with it. You can find many ways to deal with it like communicating daily or I have heard people staying on Video Chat while they sleep. I don’t get that but I’ve heard it in a few of my LDR groups. I am not sure if it is healthy or good idea to do. So you can see that it will be different for each person or couple. I’ve read ways to survive the distance and I believe that it can be very helpful to do some of these suggestions.

Other ways you can survive!

I’m going to suggest even more ways to survive the distance and these are what I’ve learned so far and I want to explain some of this and try to help those who have been there and done that. It can be extremely hard not go from one extreme to another.

  • Boundaries — setting boundaries can help prevent some arguments or problems. I’ve had arguments with my other half because she did stuff that shouldn’t or they get jealous over the little things. Set personal boundaries and say it isn’t OK for some stuff and let’s make the change that is needed.
  • Miscommunication will never go away — Depending on where your other half is in the world. You will find that no matter how long you are with that person apart, you will have miscommunications. It will start to get better because both of you will start understanding each other.
  • Be Slow to Anger — I had to deal with this one, and others. I’ve learned the past few years that nothing you do is worth getting angry with your better half. Learn to see the signs of getting angry and instead start listening even more and trying to see their perspective.
  • Have a realistic Goal(s) — each one of you should come up with your own realistic goal(s) and start doing them. Sometimes these goals can be anything from working harder or getting ready for your next visit!
  • Be open to change — When you started this relationship you probably never thought it would be changing and you to would be all lovey and dovey through the whole LDR. This is simply not true each one of us changes over our lifetime and when you finally close the distance you will see that they may of changed but is it for the worst or for the good. That is up to you to decide.

No relationship will be ever be the same as another or have the same exact circumstances. You will have to go through some bumps and trials in the road. You have a lot of hard work, a lot of sweat, and being apart but it will not be forever. This is what I’ve learned so far after almost 2 years in this relationship. Do you have something to say or talk about, why not leave a comment and tell people what you’ve learned?

Windows 7 End of life – What you need to know!

Paul
Photo by Max DeRoin from Pexels

Goodbye Window’s 7!

As of January 14, 2020, Microsoft has issued the End of Life (EOL) for the popular Windows Operating System.  This has been coming for years and most tech enthusiasts knew about this and prepared their system for this date.   If you haven’t know this until you turned saw that dreaded screen that talked about it being end for Windows 7.   You’ll probably asking what does that mean and why is Windows telling me this.   I will explain it to you and what you need to know!

No Windows 7 Support

When Microsoft issues this than it means that you will no longer get any Windows 7 updates and any programs you download and install will not be supported by Microsoft to run on Windows 7.   You are still mostly protected by having all the updates installed on your system but you will no longer be getting any security updates or have to worry about needing to reboot due to updates, since you are no longer getting them.  In the short term, there isn’t much to worry about and you can run windows just like every else with no worries.

In the long run, you will need to consider just how long you plan to use Window’s 7 and if you plan to keep the system for a really long time if your hardware can support Window’s 10. If you plan to install Windows 10 than I wouldn’t wait no more than a year!

What if you Don’t want to install Window’s 10?

You can always keep Windows 7 for as long as you own your system but the longer you use the more likely some hackers will find flaws in the system and exploit the system.  Just like Windows XP it was a strong system but as it got older and not updated we started seeing exploits in the system that brought viruses and Trojans to the system.  So I will give you some other operating system that you can use instead Window’s 10!

Linux Operating Systems

I personally use Linux on old systems that can still be used for everything.   Most of the Linux systems I recommend are all new user friendly and you can really quickly know where to go as soon as you start using it.   Most of the Linux systems that I will recommend have Windows Similarity.   You will probably have to learn how to use it a little more than you would with Windows operating system but they can be learned quickly enough.

Linux Mint

An Ubuntu version that is highly modified to look even more like Windows than the original.  I’ve found this system to be the best of both worlds.   You can run everything you want on it with very little configuration and it works really well.   It will run like Windows and update like windows without much prompting if you so desire it to,

Ubuntu

Ubuntu is a good system for those who aren’t completely novices when it comes to Linux.   Most of the time I find Ubuntu to be a little more rigid than I like but I does what I like when I want it to.   I still prefer Linux Mint because of how well it does with looking like a Windows Operating system.   You can do everything in Ubuntu as you can with Linux Mint but you don’t have to do it manually and move stuff after installation. 

These are the main two that I suggest to new users to Linux but if you want to see if there is one that you like more than another.   You can go to Distrowatch and check out each Linux and download and try them as you wish.   Each one has their own unique qualities and does essentially the same thing.   Most of them a Free to download and free to use but a few require payment just like Microsoft and Apple to use for long term.   They however do let you try them out for free most of the time.  I do recommend you install them on a USB and use them on USB and play around with them until you figure out which one you like to install.   If you are using a Windows system, you can use a program like YUMI to install multiple Linux Distros on a USB and try them out at your leisure.  Have Fun!

Got a favorite Linux operating system why not leave a comment and talk about why you like it.   Don’t Forget to subscribe to receive updates on my website.   

Surviving the long flights!

Paul2 Replies
qantas airlines plane on air
Photo by Raf Jabri on Pexels.com

You first international flight!

1062163_us_audible_sanamd_homestead_medium_rectangle_3_300x250Where ever you might be going, if you are like me, you were so scared and worried that you would miss a flight or something like that. You also probably was scared to death to meet that one person for the first time.   You’ve been wanting to meet for several hours to years of talking to them.   When I first started talking to my Girlfriend and we haven’t met in person.   I really had this desire to meet her and see what could happen, so I bought my ticket!  You can bet I had all these thoughts going through my mind, will she like who she sees in person and what if I didn’t like her.   Will it be everything I imagined?  I’ll say this much, the meeting went very well.   It was like we knew each other way before we even met online.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.

Getting Ready for the long Flight!

If you are like me, you had to get a few things before you could even think about buying that ticket.   You needed to buy a Passport, vaccinations, and even finding a place to stay. You may even need to buy travel supplies from toothpaste to feminine hygiene.   I can’t express this enough.   The first meeting you should always have a place to stay for yourself because not all first meetings ever go good and it’s a small chance that you might be one of them.   I have always adhered to being prepared the boy scout motto.  When I went to meet her for the first time, I had a place of my own to sleep and live from for my duration of the visit.   Don’t depend on your GF/BF for a place to stay even if you trust them explicitly.   There is always that chance that you will find something out that will make it impossible to stay with them.

Depending on your country’s origin, there may be more requirements than I had to go through to see my girlfriend.   Some countries require you to have a visa even just to visit that country.   So do you research and don’t be afraid to call your airlines and ask them what you might need.  I was the lucky one because I knew how long I can stay in her country before I would be required to get a visa.   Some countries are more tolerant than others.

Supplies you may need!

So here is my list of things you probably will need to survive that long flight but before I say that I should explain what I consider what a long flight is.   In my opinion a long flight is anything from 8 to 32 or more hours with layovers included.   A layover is when you have to wait for the next flight to take off and you can have anywhere from 2 hours to the next day but most of the time it’s only a few hours.

The site get money from affiliate links and all these links are from Amazon Affiliate program.   If you don’t believe in helping me pay for this site and content than you can go directly to amazon or local market and buy these yourself.

These are my basics for when I go on my long flights because of time zones and such the Melatonin is good for sleeping on the noisy plane and the bluetooth headphones will help you drown out the noise of the plane.   I usually have a two hour flight layover and I try to get a little sleep on the trip there and back.   When you can’t sleep I do this and it knocks me out everytime without much side effects.

Get Aisle seats

this is a quick tip for anyone who has to fly a long distance and only because if you have the aisle sets you can usually get up to go the bathroom without getting in the way of others but most people understand you need to go to the bathroom but it’s definite a plus for me because I don’t have to bother anyone.   Also if the person in the aisle seat goes to the bathroom, it isn’t a bad idea to go to the bathroom anyway.   This is a quick tip and I hope these recommendations help you to survive that long trip to see that one special person that you’ve been talking to for so long.   If you like these recommendations please consider supporting this site by using my affiliate links to help pay for storage and domain.   Thank you for reading this!

Got even more tips for travelers than please feel free to comment below and help those who might want even more tips.

What not to say to couples in an LDR!

Paul1 Reply
selective focus photography of person holding passport with ticket
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Assumptions are everywhere!

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When you get into an ldr, it is really tough. It comes with highs and lows and even sometimes people like to assume too much! What I mean by that is really simple. Most of the time when someone finds out that I or my Girlfriend are in an long distance relationship, we get asked certain questions all the time. Most of the time they revolve around certain expectation or notions. I’m here to set some of the records straight about these speculations.

It’s not about the Money!

I or my Girlfriend always get asked in one way or another about money. Am I sending her money or is she getting money from me? It’s sometimes a slap in the face because I’m not an ATM or is she wanting me to be that. People who are in an LDR, are not in it for the money but for much more than money. They are looking for that one person who completes them or compliments their personality. That isn’t saying that there are few, select groups of people, who are in it for the money and trying to get it from unsuspecting individuals. You have to be watchful of those and know when to walk away and when it’s not really a viable long distance relationship.

The VISA angle!

There are a number of people who always ask is my Girlfriend moving here or come here to get her VISA. While it might be a reason to have an LDR it isn’t the case that she’s doing this for the VISA to get into a better country that she can make more money from. Most of the time when you meet someone who just makes you a better person, You don’t care about that. If the relationship they or you will most likely move to to be closer but it doesn’t always mean it’s going to be the female to move. I’ve seen males move to be closer or to close the gap so to speak. If they really want to be with you then that will be the deciding factor and let’s not forget about in any relationship there will be compromises. That’s the nature of a healthy relationship.

It won’t Last!

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This one really gets me going when it comes to people speculations, and assumptions. Most of the time people will say this not trying to be mean but it tends to come across that way with me and others. I’m sure they mean well and aren’t trying to be that way but it usually does annoy me or other people in the LDR. It even goes so far as close family members saying that. Although I haven’t had this happen to my family members it seems to be make me think they are hopeful it won’t continue. It usually starts showing in peoples faces in the beginning of the relationship and then you hear them say stuff like “don’t get to emotionally involved” or “Don’t love them to much” because they are worried about you getting hurt. I get where they are saying this and trying to be helpful but it can still make the person feel like you are saying it won’t last. Please don’t do that, it does nothing to help the situation.

How can you be in a real relationship?

Most of the time the question pops up from people who have never been in an LDR and only think it is all about being physical with their partner. Although this is an factor in any relationship but with a LDR it is even more harder to be physical with your partner when you only see them a few times a year and even then it’s for short period time. It’s not all about it but more about commitment, communications, and knowing what you want. It’s not the individual fault that they deduce that it is impossible because they may need to be more physical. Don’t take what they say to heart because of it. Just know that you have to be the one to decide if you can or can’t do an LDR. It’s just best to say “Bless your heart!” whenever someone says something like these and just smile!

As always, if you like what you read and want to share this on facebook, or some other social media network, I encourage you to do just that. Got any stories you want to share with other people about what people say when they find out you are in a Long Distance relationship please feel free to comment and help others know they aren’t alone when it comes to these types of comments, questions, or assumptions.

5 Ways to Save money on plane tickets!

Paul3 Replies
condor airplane on grey concrete airport
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Distance isn’t always easy!

Those in an LDR can find that it is extremely hard to see that bf/gf because of money situations. Buying tickets are stressful enough for most because you have to save every dime and work extra hard to save that money to buy that one ticket that needs to travel to see him/her. So I thought it was time to talk about ways that you could can find the cheap tickets or save money one way or another. Nothing in this post is going to be a golden nugget but it might just help those who are wondering how to find the cheapest tickets for you and save money for your time with them.

Google Flights

If you are like me and you use Google to the fullest then you should be using this website to at least get an idea when the best time to travel to see your other half. If you know how to do it then you can go through the times when the tickets will be inexpensive to buy. You can track flights and even see when to plan your trip because of the lowest prices of a plane ticket. This is where I start off to find the best time to go see my girlfriend. You can always find the cheapest tickets and save money but this isn’t always the best way.

Skyscanner

Skyscanner is really good at looking at websites that you might not know about and finding the cheapest tickets. This site is one of those that I go to a lot to try to find that  more affordable ticket in case Google or some of the others don’t work. It can also track prices and email you when the prices increase or decrease but each website has been know to be competitive and thus can be tricky to find that bargain ticket.

Justfly

Justfly is another website that I use to try to find the reasonable tickets. Each of these only search certain websites and providers so each one might be able to find an airline that is cheaper than the rest. I’m probably not telling you anything you don’t know but it is also one of those sites I also check to try to save every penny I can to go see my Girlfriend.

CheapFlights

Finally this is the last of many websites that I tend to go to try to find the competitive tickets to go see my girlfriend. Each website has there own benefits and you might be able to find that one ticket that is in your budget or you can afford. It however is an ever expanding list for me to try to get the dirt cheap ticket.

Layovers

This one is the biggest tip of all on how to save money on plane tickets. What most of you don’t know is that each airline has partners in other airlines and if you buy a ticket from one airport to another you might miss an airline that can get you cheaper tickets for that plane trip. So I have found to get cheaper tickets in the long run. So if you have a direct flight and that’s all you need than this tip won’t help you but for me. I had to search airports that I would normally never of thought to go to as a layover point to get that cheap ticket plane ticket to see my girlfriend. This tip is to think about what direction you have to go to see you special someone and check to see if you can’t find airports that might make it cheaper for you to travel to and make your own layover instead of letting the websites or apps do it for you. I found this to be best tip ever, just explore which airline might make it bargain for you to see your special someone. One tip though you will definitely want to have at least a 3 hour layover for this way so you can claim your bags and check them back into the next airline but you will save more money this way in the long run even though you will have to deal with security more times. Leave a comment on other websites or apps that help you find that economy ticket.