Tag: How to

Trials and Tribulations

Paul2 Replies
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Trials of it all!

You are probably here because someone said something negative probably from parents, friends, and even siblings.   They’ve probably said stuff like “This won’t work!“,  “Couldn’t you find someone closer?” or they would give jealous comments about how you are going on vacations to far off countries or lands.     Each time you probably wonder why people say these things or have their doubts.

My own family even stated that once or twice already in one way or fashion.   They wouldn’t support our relationship or even make any reference as to her being my girlfriend.   So I know how hard it is to see my Girlfriend once a year, so I can only imagine others who are doing it twice or three times a year to see your girlfriend/boyfriend a year.   I’ve heard some even do it once a month but they are closer than the average Long Distance Relationship!

What Doesn’t Kill you makes you stronger!

You’ve all heard this saying and it probably makes you cringe now.   LDR’s are extremely difficult for anyone because you have to trust, and communicate even more than with a relationship that might be local.   Each time there is a fight, or some missed communication, You have to try even harder to do fix the problems.   There are a few things that I keep in the back of my mind:

  • Never be afraid to say sorry, it’s not a weakness but a strength.
  • Never be afraid to say you are right, sometimes our ego gets in the way!
  • Just because you love them doesn’t mean you will fight, so fight fair!
  • Always say you love them because you never know if you will have that chance later on!
  • Be ready to compromise because not everything is life or death.
  • Talk through your problems, in the end you will become better in the end.

In the end, it’s about your happiness and what you are wanting to do to get that happiness.   No one not even family can fully give you the happiness that you so desire and want.

Trust is Everything!

At the end of the day, trust with that GF/BF who might be hours away to days away is essential to have a LDR.  So I figured it was high time to let you explore some links that I found that might help you even more on building and maintaining trust:

These are just a few but it’s a start.   Now let’s just tell you what I think and go from there.   In my life its three basic things that make a successful LDR and they are:

  1. Trust
  2. Commitment
  3. Communication

Everything else will fall into at the given time.   Each Long Distance relationship is different and each individual is also different so you have to come up with ways to make you relationship work for you.   I hope this post has helped some.

The Beginning of my LDR!

Paul1 Reply

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Trust is KEY!

Being in a long distance relationship can be very hard.   I will say that I have been in one for over 6 months and each day is very hard.   The First thing you must learn is that you need to build the trust of the person.   Talk about yourself and be absolutely open to the idea that this might actually be a thing.   Be completely truthful to them even if it hurts to open up like that.   I learned this the first week of getting to know my girlfriend.   Let’s begin by talking about who this woman is that has my heart.

We will start discussing this in full in my next blog post!

Happen chance meeting

We initially met on OkCupid, and we started talking back and fourth on OkCupid.   We sent messages and started to see there was something special about each other.   She has kids and I had kids but that help strengthen our understanding of each other because we both knew how kids were always going to be a relationship dynamic in our current situation.

We started to get serious and she wanted to close her OkCupid account and just focus on us to see where it goes.   We went from OkCupid to Whatsapp which allows us to video call and talk to each other a little more securely.  We started video chatting about a week into talking on WhatsApp.

The first video I was so nervous and I think she was too.   After the first video chat, I knew she had my heart even just a little.

Nothing is Easy!

The problem with meeting someone on the internet is that you never really know who they are until you are willing to share pictures and video with them.

Some people have a really hard time with video chatting because they have so many insecurities and that can bring about problems in the long.   So you have to decide what you are willing to do and what you want out of the relationship.

  • Can you do a long distance relationship or is it to much for you?
  • Do you need touch them?
  • Can you survive with just texting, video chatting, and pictures from time to time?
  • Can you trust them completely?
  • How do I build trust?
  • What’s my next step in this Long Distance Relationship?

These are the questions that you first have to answer and resolve in any relationship!  If you can’t answer these questions then you might not be suited for a long Distance relationships but I know it will be worth it in the end.