You Didn’t see this coming?

You probably didn’t see this coming as you started this long distance relationship. We’ve all been there, saying the same exact thing. LDR’s are extremely hard and can be almost heartbreaking. The idea that you want to be with them and do everything with them. You just got back from your trip to see your other Half and now you are down and depressed or maybe even crying your eyes out! This is what every guy or girl has went through after a visit. I’ve heard from people that it doesn’t get easier over time or some have learned to cope with it. Each person is really different when it comes to this process of keeping a relationship working and surviving the long days and nights without your other half.

The Truth behind Visits!

When I come home from every trip to see my other half for some it’s your Girlfriend or Boyfriend, it’s extremely hard to get back into my routines here because ultimately the problem exists where you just want to be with them rather than you wanting to be apart. Sometimes distances doesn’t make the heart grow fonder but makes it extremely hard. So, what I have to do after each visit is drag myself out of bed and get back to my routines but why do people even start doing a Long Distance Relationship? It all stems from several reasons, you can bet no one really expected to be in one. Some do it because they met one way or another while traveling, or playing games with that person and becoming friends through the process. Anyway it happens, I’ve found most people have a unique experience with an LDR.

Dealing with an LDR

There are a number ways of dealing with the distance, whether you keep really busy or finding other ways to cope with it. You can find many ways to deal with it like communicating daily or I have heard people staying on Video Chat while they sleep. I don’t get that but I’ve heard it in a few of my LDR groups. I am not sure if it is healthy or good idea to do. So you can see that it will be different for each person or couple. I’ve read ways to survive the distance and I believe that it can be very helpful to do some of these suggestions.

Other ways you can survive!

I’m going to suggest even more ways to survive the distance and these are what I’ve learned so far and I want to explain some of this and try to help those who have been there and done that. It can be extremely hard not go from one extreme to another.

• Boundaries — setting boundaries can help prevent some arguments or problems. I’ve had arguments with my other half because she did stuff that shouldn’t or they get jealous over the little things. Set personal boundaries and say it isn’t OK for some stuff and let’s make the change that is needed.
• Miscommunication will never go away — Depending on where your other half is in the world. You will find that no matter how long you are with that person apart, you will have miscommunications. It will start to get better because both of you will start understanding each other.
• Be Slow to Anger — I had to deal with this one, and others. I’ve learned the past few years that nothing you do is worth getting angry with your better half. Learn to see the signs of getting angry and instead start listening even more and trying to see their perspective.
• Have a realistic Goal(s) — each one of you should come up with your own realistic goal(s) and start doing them. Sometimes these goals can be anything from working harder or getting ready for your next visit!
• Be open to change — When you started this relationship you probably never thought it would be changing and you to would be all lovey and dovey through the whole LDR. This is simply not true each one of us changes over our lifetime and when you finally close the distance you will see that they may of changed but is it for the worst or for the good. That is up to you to decide.

No relationship will be ever be the same as another or have the same exact circumstances. You will have to go through some bumps and trials in the road. You have a lot of hard work, a lot of sweat, and being apart but it will not be forever. This is what I’ve learned so far after almost 2 years in this relationship. Do you have something to say or talk about, why not leave a comment and tell people what you’ve learned?