Assumptions are everywhere!
When you get into an ldr, it is really tough. It comes with highs and lows and even sometimes people like to assume too much! What I mean by that is really simple. Most of the time when someone finds out that I or my Girlfriend are in an long distance relationship, we get asked certain questions all the time. Most of the time they revolve around certain expectation or notions. I’m here to set some of the records straight about these speculations.
It’s not about the Money!
I or my Girlfriend always get asked in one way or another about money. Am I sending her money or is she getting money from me? It’s sometimes a slap in the face because I’m not an ATM or is she wanting me to be that. People who are in an LDR, are not in it for the money but for much more than money. They are looking for that one person who completes them or compliments their personality. That isn’t saying that there are few, select groups of people, who are in it for the money and trying to get it from unsuspecting individuals. You have to be watchful of those and know when to walk away and when it’s not really a viable long distance relationship.
The VISA angle!
There are a number of people who always ask is my Girlfriend moving here or come here to get her VISA. While it might be a reason to have an LDR it isn’t the case that she’s doing this for the VISA to get into a better country that she can make more money from. Most of the time when you meet someone who just makes you a better person, You don’t care about that. If the relationship they or you will most likely move to to be closer but it doesn’t always mean it’s going to be the female to move. I’ve seen males move to be closer or to close the gap so to speak. If they really want to be with you then that will be the deciding factor and let’s not forget about in any relationship there will be compromises. That’s the nature of a healthy relationship.
It won’t Last!
This one really gets me going when it comes to people speculations, and assumptions. Most of the time people will say this not trying to be mean but it tends to come across that way with me and others. I’m sure they mean well and aren’t trying to be that way but it usually does annoy me or other people in the LDR. It even goes so far as close family members saying that. Although I haven’t had this happen to my family members it seems to be make me think they are hopeful it won’t continue. It usually starts showing in peoples faces in the beginning of the relationship and then you hear them say stuff like “don’t get to emotionally involved” or “Don’t love them to much” because they are worried about you getting hurt. I get where they are saying this and trying to be helpful but it can still make the person feel like you are saying it won’t last. Please don’t do that, it does nothing to help the situation.
How can you be in a real relationship?
Most of the time the question pops up from people who have never been in an LDR and only think it is all about being physical with their partner. Although this is an factor in any relationship but with a LDR it is even more harder to be physical with your partner when you only see them a few times a year and even then it’s for short period time. It’s not all about it but more about commitment, communications, and knowing what you want. It’s not the individual fault that they deduce that it is impossible because they may need to be more physical. Don’t take what they say to heart because of it. Just know that you have to be the one to decide if you can or can’t do an LDR. It’s just best to say “Bless your heart!” whenever someone says something like these and just smile!
As always, if you like what you read and want to share this on facebook, or some other social media network, I encourage you to do just that. Got any stories you want to share with other people about what people say when they find out you are in a Long Distance relationship please feel free to comment and help others know they aren’t alone when it comes to these types of comments, questions, or assumptions.
What you wrote is so real. Kinda funny with the ATM comments. What I like the most is “They are looking for that one person who completes them or compliments their personality. ” I guess that also applies to people who are not in LDR. In LDR, the distance would truly test how true the person is in the heart.