Tag: Long distance relationships

How to Cope with being in LDR!

Paul
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Distance is Hard!

Every day you are talking with your girlfriend or boyfriend.   It’s hard, lonely and even downright depressing.   I’ve been experiencing this since I left her a few weeks ago.   You get depressed and start missing them because you were so happy together and thinking about how nice and great it was to be with them or something like that.  Each person is really different so I am sure it is different for every person.   I figured I would write about my experiences and help with the distance who might be experiencing these things!

Constant Sadness

After the visit with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you will be sad and maybe even need to cry.   It can be quiet hard to get out of bed and start the lonely routines that you had before you he/she came and now you are wondering how do you get through it.  

  • Create Goals —  I’ve found creating goals can be a tremendous help with fighting the Sadness and putting your mindset on something. 
  • Find friends — Another good way to get past the constant sadness is finding friends to talk about this because you won’t feel so lonely.
  • Schedule the next Trip — If you can start thinking about  the next trip and keeping your mind positive is very important in an LDR.

These are just a few that I can think of right now but I am sure if you are looking for more ways to cope with the distance you can google it.   

Other ways to Deal with it!

Now before I talk about this,  I am no doctor so do this at your own risk.   I know it helps me so I thought I would at least mention these and let you decide if you want to try this.   I strongly recommend you talk to your doctor before you try some of the the herbal remedies:

 Amazon Affiliate links!  If you want to help support this site please click away but if not you can find these on amazon by just searching for them!

  • Ashwagandha 450mg — I’ve been talking this for the past few weeks and my mood has been generally better.   So you can try it yourself.
  • Gaba 750mg —   This is a naturally produced in the brain and an Amino Acid.   It helps to calm my mind at night but I also have been using it in the morning due to the LDR.  So it works really well for me from being moody!
  • L-Theanine 200mg —  It can be found in any sleep formula but I also like to take this at night to help with my sleeping because you know how your mind likes to keep you awake.   This one is really good also for LDR but should be used at night only.

These are what I do to help with the who Long Distance sadness and missing her but I am sure there are even more things you can do to get through those long periods of not being together physically!  If you have tips and tricks and want to share just leave them in the comments section.   Remember to subscribe to my blog for even more stuff about LDRS!  

The Bittersweet Taste of a LDR

Paul
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The Struggles are REAL!

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The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

I can’t state this enough for anyone who is reading this.   Long Distance relationships are extremely hard.  I could talk about the Upsides to an LDR and even the Downsides of a Long Distance relationship and if you haven’t been in one than this would be meaningless or maybe you can get an inkling of just how hard it is.  Either way, if you are here you either experiencing this or want to know what you are getting into before you go find a girl or boy to be in an LDR.

Each relationship is different and it can because of each others needs.   I love the book the 5 Love Languages By Gary Chapman(Amazon Affiliate) and I suggest this to anyone who might be in a relationship long distance or not because it will help you to understand your needs and their needs or wants in any given relationship.

The Touch is the hardest!

For those with the need to touch and be touched.   This is extremely difficult because it is a basic need of our human experience and needs.  You may not know how hard it is if touch is low on your 5 love languages but others might be high or why higher because they want to feel the love from their partner.   Sometimes the first meeting is all about that touch because you might of been talking to them for months or even years and ant to feel them to connect to a higher level.   That is normal for those starting out on this long distance relationships.

Communication is crucial!

51bwjxunfnlWhether this is your first relationship or several, most people don’t communicate as well as they should and that can be another bittersweet problem.   You learn to communicate even more than ever before.   You learn to talk about your feelings and wants to them in ways you never thought you would.   This is really difficult to those who never have done this and it’s a real learning experience to those who want this to be their last relationship.   If you are going into this relationship expecting it to fail than you might as well just leave now and not even try.

You try Harder than a Normal relationship!

You will find out that you will work harder with this relationship than if you had them down the street or in your area.   You will find that you have to work at this one because of the distance.   They will have anxieties, need reassurance, or know they are loved and you will want that some time also. Each time you talk to them you will find out even more about them you probably ever did with the relationships locally.   You probably know their likes, and dislikes and have talked to them constantly because of the distance factor.   You probably already know them better than you have ever imagined.

You must be Creative!

You will find that you will be more creative in how you try to be with that relationship.   You will want to watch videos on Youtube or maybe some other service like Netflix.   If they are international than this will be harder.   You can watch movies and shows from a service like Rabb.it but I find it is harder to do it.  Sending post mail from time to time with themes is another good way to be creative.   You can search youtube or the Web and find out others ways to be creative.

It can be expensive but I have already talked about that in my previous blog post.   You can save money if you know when to buy the tickets and stuff for flights but I won’t get to much more into that one.     These are just a few that I have found that make it so bittersweet, you will have other ones that I might of missed but I am sure it is different for each of us.   I can’t wait to see my girlfriend again.   In the end it’s all worth it.

Trials and Tribulations

Paul2 Replies
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Trials of it all!

You are probably here because someone said something negative probably from parents, friends, and even siblings.   They’ve probably said stuff like “This won’t work!“,  “Couldn’t you find someone closer?” or they would give jealous comments about how you are going on vacations to far off countries or lands.     Each time you probably wonder why people say these things or have their doubts.

My own family even stated that once or twice already in one way or fashion.   They wouldn’t support our relationship or even make any reference as to her being my girlfriend.   So I know how hard it is to see my Girlfriend once a year, so I can only imagine others who are doing it twice or three times a year to see your girlfriend/boyfriend a year.   I’ve heard some even do it once a month but they are closer than the average Long Distance Relationship!

What Doesn’t Kill you makes you stronger!

You’ve all heard this saying and it probably makes you cringe now.   LDR’s are extremely difficult for anyone because you have to trust, and communicate even more than with a relationship that might be local.   Each time there is a fight, or some missed communication, You have to try even harder to do fix the problems.   There are a few things that I keep in the back of my mind:

  • Never be afraid to say sorry, it’s not a weakness but a strength.
  • Never be afraid to say you are right, sometimes our ego gets in the way!
  • Just because you love them doesn’t mean you will fight, so fight fair!
  • Always say you love them because you never know if you will have that chance later on!
  • Be ready to compromise because not everything is life or death.
  • Talk through your problems, in the end you will become better in the end.

In the end, it’s about your happiness and what you are wanting to do to get that happiness.   No one not even family can fully give you the happiness that you so desire and want.

Trust is Everything!

At the end of the day, trust with that GF/BF who might be hours away to days away is essential to have a LDR.  So I figured it was high time to let you explore some links that I found that might help you even more on building and maintaining trust:

These are just a few but it’s a start.   Now let’s just tell you what I think and go from there.   In my life its three basic things that make a successful LDR and they are:

  1. Trust
  2. Commitment
  3. Communication

Everything else will fall into at the given time.   Each Long Distance relationship is different and each individual is also different so you have to come up with ways to make you relationship work for you.   I hope this post has helped some.